I'm just so mad now. Like fucking fuckedup mad.
Why is it always me who loses a debate at the end.
Why is it I'm the one who starts the confessions.
Why is it me who always been misunderstood and accuse.
Why is always the situation has be turned around and back to me.

Accusions, misunderstandings, betrays, portrays, impression.
Fucked up words.

Its always ME who gets the wrong impression.
And often was HIM who portrays the wrong impressions.
And I'M the one who has always been accussed of misunderstandings and get people thinking that I'm the one who started all of this to betray him just because he was the one who phrase it in 'THAT'way.

I don't understand..
I don't know how to solve this.
If I tell him what I dislike..
He'll sarcarsticly stop doing that thing dramatically.
I don't know how to elaborate on this part..

In the moment of despair..
I wanna breakdown..
Because of this accident which i didn't want to start it ((but its just so unbearable to ignore it))
I spoke harshly to my elder sis when she asked me what time I was going out (So that she'd be able to cook for me)
You'd be heart broken if you were me.
Very depressed, frustrated, anger raging, and I'm easily irritated when this feelings possesses me.

Its not the way you want it to be..
Its just how it happened to be
Fuck prophercies cuz it probably fucked up his mind.
Which probably fucked me up to.
Sucks to be him.
Sucks to be me.

Sometimes, I wish I didn't met him.
Sometimes, its fortunate to have him.

He knows how to make me forgive him.
But I still can't be hard on him.

Generally, it just makes me feel that sometimes, without friends is better. Their such a pain in the ass.

But sometimes, its a gift to have friends..

Its like..
Yes / No
A / B
Good / Bad

It goes on..
There's only alternatives in life..

Labels: Mad much..

Man.. This few days aint turning out well for me..
Well.. Should put it in a way that I'm heartless / simply can't be bothered / turning into an emotionless man?
You decide..

See.. My mom had a talk with me last Saturday night.. She told me why she wasn't satisfied about her pay due to the deduction of CPF.. Somehow, she would lose 6% of her salary from now onwards..
She's planning on working a part time job.
I reminisced my sis told me this would happen in long terms if we don't work hard and have good qualifications.
It didn't really matter to me at that point of time.
And now, sitting here, listening to my mom's remorseful words just shows how much she's willing to suffer just to keep us under this roof.
I advice her in a harsh way as I'm not used to being dramatic and mushy with my family.
I told her: You're considered "lucky" to have this job. You can simply just do nothing for the whole day, enjoying the air-con with carpeted floors and wheeling chairs.. It's very convinient. Whereas, if she'd be going to people's house to pack or do chores for them, its much more tiring. (Which was what she was planning for her part-time job).
I DON'T WANT my mom to be serving other family, the feeling is just not right. It's so much similar as being a maid in other people's house. And I know kids nowadays are awefully rude. They could simply do things without even thinking. Notorious?
Besides, my mom's condition isn't really good. She'd get sick easily..
And i can assure that if she's sick, she'll be emitted to the hospital, no joke.. She is that "fragile". Now you see the reason why?

Now moving on.. I FUCKING LOST MY PERSONAL FILE!
Yea, didn't brag much about it in school.
BUT, I just found out that my N level cert was in it when my mom accused me of not wanting to reply her messages. Then she asked how did my search for the file went. And that's when all the commotion started.

SHIT up man..
On Sunday, I sat on the dining table, thinking, recalling so hard. Where did my diary went too? Then, I went to find my file to do assignments.
And I reallised that it was not here nor my bags.
I panicked. Its like, what could have gotten worst? Now that i have to make all the copies that i've lost. Just great.
And before I knew it, the next day. N LEVEL CERTIFICATE M.I.A
Fking dumb ass, why didn't you give your parents to keep it.
Now I know why filing is important.
I'm so troubled right now, frustrated.
You can say that i'm in a delimma.

And guess what, I'm suprised that I didn't cried. In the past, I used to cry about everything single thing that I don't have a solution to it. I'm wondering why's it so. "This would sound ridiculous, but I've tried crying in the bathroom before"... Epic fail.

What's with me. What have I done wrong to deserve all these? What could have possibly been worst than this? I don't wanna know. So much for lost stuff and broken heart. __ Peace out.

Labels: -Shit happens. But in this case, shit happens too many times in 2 days.

Been long I've updated my blog.
I wanted to give up writing a blog, everyday got to update.. Even if there's nothing to talk about.

I don't want to bore you guys with my mundane routine. Cuz you guys are already experiencing it. So what for right?
I didn't think of writing an entry to this blog for quite sometime.. Even though I had something going on.

But sometimes.. Things have to spill cuz its too full. I need a listening ear. There has been quite much going on.

I can't get it off my chest. I don't want it to stick on me. And that is why.. I'm writing an entry post now.

Labels: -I do feel a lil better now.

Hey guys, long time didn't update again.
Not much to write, stayed at home most of the time.

Class outing? Didn't turn well for most of us I guess.
1pm went to Nelly's house with Fariha to cook Megoreng.
Was a success with Nelly's guidiance. However, she's sick, was a pity she couldn't come along with us! D=
I gave her the farewell present first in case she didn't come later on at 6pm. And luckily I did.

Me and Eea took cap twice to West Coast.
Met with Aini and walked to BBQ pit 2 together.

Reached there, Alim was holding his guitar, standing on the pit shouting something hahaha.
Was glad to finally meet them. But on the other side, was tired. I didn't get enough sleep. Moreover, did my first cooking!!!!

We bit hi to each other and exchanged cordial smiles.

After that.. I didn't know what to do, I just put my bag, and everything seem fine, everyone seems like they're all caught up with each other. Was glad though.
But if Nelly was there, it'll be much better to tag along and get into a conversation.

I just don't know how to start a conversation, what topic, what to talk about. It's been long since I met them, so I didn't really know what to start off with.
I just set at the second table which is near-opposite Grace, Alim, Cynthia and Jia Jin's table.

No one came to talk to me, neither did I went there.
Cuz if I knew if I'm there, I would be just pasting around.
Its been quite awhile, and I still couldn't come up with something to talk about, having a long conversation filled with laughter. So might as well I stayed, was resting too.

Quite intense atmostphere in my world. Was all in my world ATM.

As the world revolved, the sky is darker. People came, more friends joining us, felt better.
More food, everyone LOOKS like their having great time chilling out and of course showing off muscles........


We played some games like 007-bang, 1234 games, frisby. Invited some peeps but they don't want. So I didn't really go pester them and enjoyed the game with Cynthia and all.
I felt quite lousy at the 1234 game tho, I kept on being touched and let our opponents get the points.

Later on at night, Shahlis, Noh, Hasif, Syduh, Cynthia, Grace and I decided to go to the pyramid for a play.
I'm sorry Alim, at that point of time I was so excited about the pyramid, enever tried since was primary 5. Until you asked me where I was going then I asked you. And by the words u replied, can see you were quite dissapointed, angry with me. I asked you several times though, and also asked for help to help you come with us. but you still didn't. In the end, went without him. I'm so sorry ALIM!!!

Later on at the pyramid, we took photos, everyone was trembling. Funny!! All was like, DON'T LOOK DOWN!!! Then later a ball drops from the upper of pyramid. And lend with quite a loud thud on the sand. I was like oh shit!

After that went to flying fox, a low one. Super fun when 2 person pushes you.
Tried to push Cynthia but I'm too weak TT. Like didn't have much strength..

After that headed back to pit 2. I started to packed up, then Falaa, and all helped me.

Later on decicded to chill and eat at west coast mac. Wasn't sure to head home and hit the hay or chill.

Later on, Shahlis, Noh, Hasif, Falaah decided to sit Fariha's car. Her father drove us to Pioneer mall mac as planned.

Then Shahlis and Noh was sitting beside me, kept laughing. I don't know whats happening LOL!!

Then they asked me to decide fast whether to go home or not. At first my dicision was made > I'm going to Pionner mall mac.
But Shahlis and Noh talked me into going home. Cuz they cared for me, afraid as it'll be super dark and its alrdy 12am.
So I decided to go home.

-End of my day.. I ate maggi noodles when I got home used comp for awhile, Geokmei chat with me, asking about why doing MJ flashmob and stuff. Stressed out again, everything was left to me and Yat.

All I want to say is I hope Alim will accept my sincere apology and be good budz like normal days.

Labels: -Messed up on friends, and even myself., families

7.45am: Woke up, bath , dressed up and went to school to buy tickets for Jyian Night.
Nelly and I got free tickets, thanks to Jia Jin for asking.
8.30am: Got to buy tickets for Wilson. Unfortunately teachers happen to have meeting.
We decided to go JP for a hearty breakfast.
There wouldn't be a better and meaningful time talking random things with friend.
10.10am:We went back to school for tickets, and got it. Chill around bench area, saw Sue, Jiliah practicing for Malay Dance.

12.16pm: We decicded to head home and to meet at JP Long John Silver for our Early dinner at 3.30pm.

3.45pm: We all gathered, Grace, Jia Jin, Rasyduh and I. Ate, talked, Grace kept laughing for no reason since this morning.

4.50pm: Went back to school to get 3 extra tickets for Nelly. Reached at 5.14pm.

5.25pm: Met Nelly and Syaheera. Almost all guys dressed formal. Was worried at first.

8.30pm: Right after performance, headed straight home with Nelly after taking a group photo.

8.45pm: Reached home. Found out I was alone..

Labels: Typicaly boring

Okay, as you didn't know, this blog entry post will be about facts and informations I found out in yahoo, and Youtube. Though some of you might be disagreeing with me.

Lets move on.

Earth, Planets, Mysterious stones formed on earth? Perhaps?
No one 100% Sure who made it or how did it formed. Do you really want to know?

But that not what I'm trying to explain here.

I'm sure many of you have heard the Y2K [Year 2000/01/01 00:00:01am] when the whole world will stop and stuff like that or a global computer error crash.

Did it happened? NO!! Well, started from that time, I didn't believe anymore to anyone's story until I found out these informations.



The year.. 2012
December 21st.

You might be thinking now that I'm just probably bored, come out with stuff to fool you guys out and get all freaked out and get engross into this subject. It might be surprising for some of you.

However, its not surprising to NASA and Governments.

Why? Because they knew this since 1983..

Lets see who also predicted and warned us about 2012..

Nostradamus:"A big object heading to our planet, it will reach by 2012 but it won't hit us."

Albert Einstein warned us about Pole Shift and during that we will suffer.

Mayan Prophecy. The Mayans knew about this Thousand years ago..

Calculating by their "The Tzolkin, or Mayan Sacred Calendar"that 2012 is the end-point. 2012 is when the Earth will complete it's Great Cycle.

The Holy Bible warn us about 2012 too. There's a diagram, but I'm lazy to copy and paste it.


There are so many people..

. So many other scientist..

. So many other Religions..

. So many other ancient signs and drawings about it..

. And they all..

. Pointing at that date..

. The Year 2012 December 21st.....



This, should be it, don't give up excuses like, nahh, maybe they just cocked it up.

Well, don't tell me the Mayans which lives centries ago did these things.



. .::Why::.

And now this is where I'm going to share what NASA Secret is from 1983.

In 1982 NASA recognized the possibility of an extra solar planet.

1983 NASA Launched the IRAS (Infrared Astronomical Satellite) which locate a very large object, the size of Jupiter.

This looks like this 1st is the Dark Star (Brown Dwarf) this Dark star has 5 minor planets, the 6th as Earth, 7th one is what they call Nibiru.

Ancients believe 6th planet is much like Earth and is the Home for Annunaki "Giants or Gods of Old"live.

So year 2012 is when the Planet Nibiru will cut through our Solar System and pass between Sun and Earth. So its like a cross-section of solar systems.

This happening every 3600 Year, and possible this caused the Atlantis sinking and Noah's Flood and this will happen in late of 2012. The year 2012 is actually the year where its 3600 years before it happen the previous time.

Why don't we know about Stonehenge or Easter Island? Maybe the people before us built that and too, suffer the coming of Nibiru.

It is said that Nibiru will be seen by an eye on May 15, 2009 as a reddish object. It will be moving up so thats the only time we'll see it from the very Southern location of Earth.

And by May 2011, Nibiru can be viewed by all Earth links. Nibiru will pass through the Ecpliptic plane and will look like an imitation of sun (two Suns) around the size of our moon.

. .::Let progression take place::.

Thats when the Earthquakes and global weather.

But the worse one will be on Febuary 14, 2013 when Earth will move between Nibiru and the Sun. The Pole Shifting process and the Earth reformation will take place.

Thats when we'll suffer the most.

Earth will stop it's rotation for 3 days

As the effect, Hard EarthQuakes and Tsunamis world wide will take place.

Land will crack into pieces like how you see in the movie 2012 because of Earth's core hitting up.

Raging Volcanos around the land will erupt

And the Earth will be reforming slowly.

By July 1, 2014 the Nibiru will no longer affect earth and move away from our Solar System.

NASA knows about this, but didn't spread the word.

Terrifying news?

NASA reported that 2/3 of Earth's population will not survive this.

Soon, it'll be all over again.

01/01/0001

Are you prepared?

Labels: 01/01/0001

Another day.
Just 'seems to be a burden to me right now.
Facing the same old routine
Just makes it so lifeless.
I want to go back to the old days.
Hanging out with my friends,
Playing all sorts of crazy stuff.
Doing stupid things.

I'm still quite confused though.
Didn't know what I did that made that lost.
I guess friends would just dissappear once in a moment,
And I guess its now my turn.

Labels: Blank